For the last week or so I have been convicted about my approach to the church and, if I’m completely honest, humanity in general. I have been critical, far too critical, of fellow humanity. Anyone who knows me or reads this blog knows that I am a pacifist, because I believe as a follower of Christ that is one thing that sets us apart, seeking peace above all. A love for ones enemies I would argue, thus citing the Sermon on the Mount. I would say that any Christian who does not prescribe to this view is just deluding himself or herself with the lies we have been fed by the leaders of the empire. I am critical of worship (through music) services. I have the curse of noticing when a lyric elevates humanity too much or doesn’t give G-d enough credit. I could probably tell you at least a few things that I don’t like about each sort of service that I attend. I am able to tear down people with few words. They may seem tame and free of malice, words that seek progress, which always comes at a price. I am critical of how other conduct themselves. Of their addictions. Of their weaknesses. When people ask about why I am so critical, bless you brave souls, I say that it is because I care.

Still to this day I am convinced that I am critical because I care. I care deeply for the body of Christ. I care deeply that we do not forsake the ways of our Lord for this world’s. I care deeply about those who are not living to their full potential. However, I have been thinking about the worth of positive words when placed along side the negative and how this affects how we live as members of the body of Christ. Many times I have heard it said that if a person hears ten comments, nine good and one bad, the one they will remember is the bad one. Lately I have been listening to Rob Bell’s sermons and what I keep hearing over and over is a plea to affirm and encourage wherever and whenever possible. It is so easy to tear people down with our words and actions. We do it to their faces. We do it behind their backs. Even when we are critical with good intentions, with hopes of seeing change for the better, we wonder why none has occurred.

There are so many instances throughout scripture when we are told to build each other up. How do we always fall so short.

I am beginning to realize that when I say that I don’t understand certain practices within todays church I am saying that they are wrong. I now know that my clever and cutting comments are just an attempt for me to feel better about myself. I acknowledge that no matter how good it feels to pull others down, to criticize, and to degrade, it affects no progress and simply shows me as little and far less deserving of grace than I once thought I was.

I want to live a life which seeks to see the kingdom of G-d here and now. I want to encourage whenever possible. I want to give grace, because I am a recipient of a grace which is far greater. I want to love with a servants heart, a servants mindset, a servants hands and feet, a servants mouth, a servants eyes and a servants ears, because I think this is the only way in which I can possibly live life as Jesus did. Most of all, above everything else, I want to live gracefully out of a love for the person of Jesus, because I know that any other motivation will not last.